Monday, October 23, 2006

Lost in the Jungles of the New Jersey Highway

i spend the night in my cousin's house because i watched the new jersey nets beat the Philidelphia 76ers with my aunt... i drove her home in Union.. then my cousin was there with his friend drinking and playing NFL 2007... i actually don't know how to play first but i quickly understand the controls and beat the shit out of my cousin's friend... i drank like ten beers and i couldn't drive because i'm too cautious about accidents so i rather sleep over and go home the next morning..

morning came at 7:00am my cellphone alarmed and i woke up, brush my teeth and said goodbye to my Aunt.. i was asking where to go because this is the first time i'm driving alone. she said to go to 22 west and then go to 1-9north and find jersey city in the boards that were hanging above the highway.

So i went to my father's car, start the engine, left the my aunt's garage and my journey have started. first i was not worried because the road was still familiar to me. i saw the sign going to 22 west and and the saw a route going to 1-9north. it was like 15minutes when i saw the sign of 1-9north jersey. i was excited knowing that i'm almost there and pride was in my head knowing that i know how to navigate the highway but something happened. i was looking for my next sign and saw Holland tunnel then i remembered that Holland tunnel is near Newport mall where i usually hang out... so i drove towards it then i went to Polaski(i don't know the spelling) skyway. i ended up going into the Holland Tunnel and could not turn because it is a one way lane. so i went straight to the Holland Tunnel and ended up in New York.. i scared at first because i was in another state and i was going around New York City...

then finally i went down and asked for direction and this kind african-american guy told me that i was in the right direction going to Holland Tunnel. He told me to go straight and i will find a signn that says Holland Tunnel. he was right and i finally went back to Holland Tunnel and after exiting the tunnel. i found a street that looks familiar to me and that street was Manila st. i was happy and i went home and went to sleep

Sunday, October 15, 2006

i want to

I want to be you for one day....
I want to know what it feels when i kiss you
I want to know what it feels when i touch you
I want to know what it feels when i smell you
I want to know what it feels when i hug you
I want to know what it feels when i see you
I want to know what it feels when i hurt you
I want to know what it feels when you cry
I want to know what it feels when you dream
I want to know what it feels when you sleep
I want to know what it feels when i say...

I love you....to you..

Its the only way that i know how to love you more and perfectly....

Love is not to be measured or be timed... Love is not to be taken for granted.. Love is not to be sexual and physical...Love is when you feel each others pain and Happiness.. That is true love....

Wednesday, October 04, 2006

Love can kill

a boy has a crush on a girl but was too shy to tell her that he loved her. The girl secretly loved the boy too but was also too shy to tell him that she loved him....

everyday he sees her walking in the pedestrain line going to him because he was standing in the bus stop. it was quiet but within that silence. they could hear their heart beat rising and was beating faster.

the girl was waiting for the boy to make the move but she hopeless think that he does not love her. the boy was gathering up his courage to just asked her name but it was not eanough.

then one day... the boy finally gathered all his courage up into that one day.... this courages were his childhood courage that he is saving up for this particular day.... he wrote a letter containing and describing how he is in love with her and give it to her...

the boy was waiting for the girl in the bus stop standing there and his heart pumping so fast... then finally the girl came and was walking towards him... the boy ran towards her and pushed her out the way.. the girl saw the boy got hit by a car.. then a piece of paper floated down to her lap..

she read it..

"I cannot promise anything to someone like you. It is because my heart cannot comprehend the fact that one day---I may break that promise

...So ... I may not promise you to have happiness with me, nor may I promise you that we will last forever...

But one thing is for sure is that I’m just a boy---who is in love with a girl---a girl that is not Just a girl---but A girl who I can truly say that I love---

And that is you...

>pause< loving isn't the same---if I love alone but it doesn't matter at all---because loving you brought the best out of me... so loving isn't mere obligation, but it is a test---that a boy like me should pass because without taking this test, I will be complete---because loving you is my completeness---my whole life's mission... loving you is me, knowing my inner being-- it is me knowing myself better... well, I just wanted you to know that---and I don't expect you to react immediately---but as a boy with this feeling---I cannot just contain it all because if I would not tell you, I would be lying to myself---which would truly hurt me so as I end this letter, I am opening a new chapter in my life...a life looking forward to receive the same kind of love I have for you

Forgive me because when I’m near you I cant seem to trust myself---I’m scared of making mistakes in front of you---then I end up acting like a fool but it is ok---because at least I know that I made you smile...."

then the girl went to the boy who was already dead and kissed his lips and said "i love you, i will keep your letter by my side reminding me how i truly loved you. please wait for me in the other side"

the next day, the girl never woked up in her sleep....

Sometimes...

Sometimes.... the people who seem cold all the time.... can be warm too....

Monday, October 02, 2006

My Love


My love to you is pure...
My love to you is true.....
My love to you is precious....
My love to you is sublime....
My love to you is respectful...
My love to you is cherish....
My love to you is forever...

i am a hypocrite if i say "i will never hurt your feelings or you" but i will try my very best not to hurt you or your feelings because i love you and your the world to me..

we have the same heart, we feel the same beat, we feel the same pain so i know what you feel and i hate myself from hurting you and i am truly sorry for every single thing i have done that may hurt you in some way or the other.

i love you, my love, karina gonazalo Gutlay.

my sincerest apology to you my love!!!